One-To-One Advice

Giving one-to-one advice or mentioning advice that I might have given someone is something I rarely do in my blog because I want my blog to be general and that way enable as many people as possible to benefit from what I publish here.

However this morning I was minding my own business sightseeing on a big red London bus, I am in London for a few days it is nice, but it is so crowded and London is one of the dirtiest, most polluted places I have ever visited oh and the standard of service is pretty poor too, frankly I wouldn't recommend London as a place to visit.

Still I didn't come here to moan, I came here to tell you about something that happened this morning on the aforementioned bus which was both flattering and in a way rather sad.

A young man got on the bus at Oxford Street close to a Pedestrian Crossing that seems to be designed to give buses and taxis more than one chance to people crossing Oxford Street, it looked very dangerous indeed. The young man was in his mid twenties I guess and as he passed by me he smiled!

That was nice I thought to myself especially as I was feeling as though I was in the middle of a city where no one smiles ever, a cue that I presume comes from the politicians of the land who all seem to be talking seriously and never smile.

After a while, we had just been whisked rather rapidly around Trafalgar Square I recall, gee buses travel fast in London, the young man approached me and asked me if my name was Abigail and I nodded, he asked if he could sit next to be and then began to tell me about his girlfriend.

I was so disturbed to hear his story that I ended up getting off the bus in a place called Brixton, mmh! is all I will say about that place, I thought the middle of London was dirty until I tried to walk through the trash lined Brixton High Street.

Obviously I can't mention specifics but the young man said that he and his girlfriend had been living together for a number of years and recently within the last six to eight months and for no apparent reason she had been going out and staying out sometimes over night.

The young man said that he loved his girlfriend and had tried to have one of those chats that we all attempt, the "what is wrong! Is it me!" type of conversation, but his girlfriend had erupted saying that he was ruining her life and all she wanted was freedom and he didn't give her any.

Well I told him what I thought I would do in that situation, which is give her all of the freedom she is demanding and move out immediately, I don't know if he will but it would be best.

Please everyone remember that relationships are about sharing, they are not meant to be one sided and no partner is supposed to take advantage of the other, if they do they probably always will and the best thing to do in those circumstances is to leave and find someone who wants to be with you and wants to share a life with you, you deserve to be happy as well as your partner no matter whether you are a man or a woman.

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Brixton, Happy, London, Trafalgar Square, Oxford Street

Something To Think About

In a world that recently has shown itself to be a place full of corruption, greed and stupidity it is important to remember that if you want to build a stable long term relationship with a partner you should do the opposite of American, Arab and European bankers and businessmen and be generous and honest.

Just look where greed, stupidity and corruption have got them? Nowhere yet like the children from a bad marriage it is us the poor people in the street that suffer because we bear the cost for the actions of the greedy idiots.

So it you want to have a relationship that lasts first try to be generous and kind yourself and then find someone who thinks the same. Both of you may not ever be the richest people in the world but you will be among a very select few who are the happiest.

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Bankers, Relationship, American, Arab, European, Generous, Happiest

Safer Dating

These days it is sad to say that there are a lot of oddballs about and quite frankly that makes dating whether you are a, girl meeting a girl, a girl meeting a boy or indeed a boy meeting a boy something of a risk.

Happily there are a number of things that you can do to ensure that the date you are going to have is a safe one, even if it turns out to be less than an enjoyable one.

The first thing to do is a bit of homework especially if the date you are going to have is really a blind one and no one you know has introduced you to the person you are going to meet.

The sort of homework to do is to use Google to search for the person name, then check out FB and MySpace to see if the person is online and if they are you can get a good sneak peek.

If the date comes through someone you know from your family, mates or friends work then ask questions and get the information that you need that way. Remember it really isn't bad to ask these questions these days, so don't feel like it is.

When you go on the date you can either double up with friends or go somewhere very public and of course don't travel too far to the date.

As a courtesy make sure that you have your date's phone number so that you can call if it looks as though you are going to be held up. You must know what it is like if you are standing somewhere waiting for a date to arrive and they don't.

You feel like a complete tool and after a while you begin to start to wonder how long you should wait before you give up and you wait a little longer getting ever more uncomfortable, so don't let that happen it isn't fair to your date and of course will spoil the evening.

To make sure that you are safe on your date tell someone where you are going and what time you will be back and make sure that you have sufficient cash on you for any emergency.

When you are on the date, turn your phone to vibrate and try not to use it or send texts, you are there to find out more about the person you are meeting so do just that, chat about what you like to do and of course listen to what the other person has to say as well.

Remember that if you feel a little nervous then it is likely that your date does and so that is actually something that you both can talk about because it is common ground and common ground is good for couples, not of course that one date is anything more than just a date so don't make plans of any kind on the night for a second date, there is always plenty of time to do that afterwards.

Most important of all is to make sure that you know how to get home, if you haven't driven to the date then make sure you know what public transport is available and aim to catch it so that you don't have to wait outside at night especially if you live in a major city.

Lastly have fun, that is why you agreed to go out in the first place and if at any time you feel uncomfortable then leave it is a free country you know and it is better to be called something nasty behind your back than to be in any form of danger.

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Dinner, FB, Google, MySpace, Safe Dating, Common Ground

Speed Dating And Pubs Shouldn't Mix

It is good to see that some Speed Dating companies care about their clients more than others, though in my opinion they only care about their clients cash, like the people at Speed Dating Events and I would like to thank them for their comment on my blog about Speed Dating which describes why I think that Speed dating is a terrible way to find a partner. The comment, if you want to read it, appeared on the www.easilyfriends.com website.

However in spite of their comment, I haven't change my mind and my point remains and that is because not all Speed Dating is either well organised or well thought out.

I still maintain that you are never going to find someone to develop a long term relationship with when you are hustled from one quick chat to the next, even in a nice venue with careful professional staff in attendance.

And just quickly on the subject of venues Speed Dating event companies tend to use smelly, dirty and outdated public houses to arrange their 'quicky' events! Am I the only person in the world who hates pubs because they are not nice places? Thank goodness no, because I read everyday of another town or village pub closing.

The best you can hope for from a Speed Dating event is to fill your Filofax with cards and numbers from people you know you won't call because you won't remember who they were and of course they won't ring for the same reason.

Really, the only thing you can expect to get out of a speed dating event is to get back into the swing of talking to people in a social situation, frankly I would choose the bus, or better still if you want an evening out go to the theatre or the ballet and in the interval find people to chat to.

As I have said before, if you talk to people even if they are in a relationship it is very likely that they will have friends like you who are looking for a relationship, but of course, first of all they are looking for a date and importantly so are you!

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Comment, Dating, Public Houses, Pubs, Relationship, Speed Dating, Theatre, Filofax

What Happened to Speed dating?

Of all the most unsavoury things to cross the Atlantic recently, I have to say that I think speed dating was one of the worst!

It is actually 'up there' with Adam Lambert and of course Jay Sean and indeed anyone whose name is anything to do with 'cents' no matter what division of a dollar they happen to be and of course anyone who wears that dreadful stuff 'bling.'

As far as I was concerned and frankly speed dating 'concerned' me; speed dating was insulting, petty and really rather pathetic.

Oh the concept sounded all rather fine as I am afraid mere 'concepts' always do, but finding a partner and beginning a relationship is nothing to do with several five minute chats in the early evening at a bar that is hired by the hour on slow days.

No dating and finding a partner is a slow process that takes patience, time and most of all dedication plus commitment.

Speed dating was all very well and good as a way of massaging the egos of people who think that they are busy. Sad people who spend a lot of time cutting down and neatly packaging the things they do in their, not very normal, lives so that at the end of the evening they have plenty of time to go home and think about how alone they are.

I am sorry but no one on the planet is too busy for a relationship or beginning to build one and if you can name anyone and then prove that they are; I will happily print the information here on my very precious and popular blog and give you the credit you both deserve for being very rare indeed.

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Adam Lambert, Atlantic, Dating, Love, Relationship, Singles, Speed Dating, Jay Sean, Bling

How Do You Make Your Relationship Work?

It is true to say tat we are all looking for something different from a relationship and that is because we are all so very different that is the complex beauty of the human race.

But there are some things that we should look for in a relationship that are constant and common to all humans of both sexes and they are;

We should always respect our partner and never even consider violence towards one another. It is impossible to add that we should never lose our temper with our partner because it is in our nature. But if you can remember that you might be losing your temper with the wrong person - your partner who is just an innocent bystander. Always try to think before you let your anger out.

If you do this then you will be also doing something that I personally believe is a key to a happy relationship and that is always treat your partner in a way that you would like to be treated.

It goes, almost, without saying that you should chat to your partner, tell them what makes you happy, then what makes you sad and then of course what gets under your skin. You'll discover that you feel better and your partner will enjoy sharing and of course at a later date the opportunity to do the same to you, to chat and share.

One thing that I have found in the years that I have been around is that not only do relationship flourish when you are sharing they also bloom when you give your partner a little bit of privacy, some quiet time, to do what they want.

That may be a hobby, a walk with the dog or anything and you should always give your partner that space and freedom, yes it is true that we all need different things but there are only a very few humans who want to be completely isolated even if they say they do.

There is so much more to say on this subject and that happily is why I have a blog, but finally for today always remember that there are two people in a relationship and that they both need to be engaged in making the relationship work, if one isn't pulling his or her weight then he or she needs to be reminded that a relationship is a precious thing and like all precious things it isn't difficult to break them.

Kick Start A Relationship

There is no need to be alone these days honestly. Believe it or not even today there are so many ways to find someone who could become your partner. One of the very best ways to find a special someone is to talk to people you see everyday.

Sadly our society has painted us into a corner because we are worried about 'strangers' and so we walk along the street with our heads down, sit on public transport avoiding eye contact with our fellow passengers and keep ourselves very much to ourselves and that I am afraid is a recipe for loneliness.

But that is daft because if we have a daily routine and that is probably 90% of us we encounter people everyday, nice people who are probably lonely as well and as painted into their corners as we are.

So surely it is really silly to sit at home alone when in your street let alone your town there are probably dozens of people doing the self same thing.

Tomorrow when you are walking down the street or you are on the bus or you are wherever your daily routine takes you and you see someone you have seen before smile at them, you'll probably get a smile back.

Then the next day when you see them again do the same, after a week the person you are smiling at will probably be looking out for you so that they can smile back at you when you smile at them and that is because we humans are social animals and we enjoy contact with other members of or species.

The next step is to say hello, and soon after that maybe you will be stopping for a chat, this sort of sociable behaviour can be directed to both members of the opposite sex and to members of your own sex too and that is because you are just being socialble.

With men it is more likely to start chatting if they are at a football game or in a bar but the same logic of just chatting applies.

By chatting to members of the opposite sex you are increasing your chances of striking up a friendship or relationship and by talking to a members of the same sex you are simply widening your group of contacts.

Isn't it true that almost all of us know someone who is on their own and it is likely that you will be introduced to them at some time down the line or be introducing someone to a friend of the person you now know who is alone.

The simple truth is that unless you talk to people and interact with them you will become more and more isolated and when you feel isolated and alone you don't feel like talking to anyone and so you are caught in a cycle of unhappiness.

Don't you agree that the price of getting rid of your unhappiness is worth a smile and then a hello? I do, but then I do talk to a lot of people when I am out.

After the first hello you can chat about anything, from the weather to the price of Sugar it doesn't matter, the person you smiled at will know that you aren't a threat and vice versa and at some stage they will feel comfortable enough to suggest a coffee or something.

So smile at someone tomorrow just for me! Because there is no reason for any of us to be alone and victims of the society we live in today and stay painted into a corner.

Getting A Second Date

A first date after a while can be 'interesting' for all of the wrong reasons and not just because you are out of practice. When you get home you start to wonder whether you both had fun and of course whether either of you want to repeat the fun and have a second date.

So what should you do next? Well if you are a woman you are supposed to ruled by a convention that suggests that you wait to see if 'he' calls and if you are a man you are supposed to call if you had fun and want to see your new friend again.

That does seem to leave a lot to chance doesn't it? So what you do next assuming that you want to see the other party again should be ruled by you not convention. Though of course what you do next should be governed by how well the date went.

If you have a nice time then there is no reason not to have another date is there? If on the other hand things didn't go so well of course you should continue looking for what you want.

If you have a great time then call the other person and let them know and suggest another date, you will soon discover if they feel the same way about the date and are prepared to have another.

When you call, and this applies to both men and women be chatty, and make sure you say that you had a good time as quickly as possible, oddly enough few people seem to know that compliments work as well on men as women.

And tell them what you are doing now, and if you really liked him or her tell them that you are getting ready for bed and thinking of 'them' that works rather nicely because it is an innocent comment but just as a very slight edge.

Keep the conversation short though because you don't want to run out of things to talk about on the second date, on the third of course you can mention the telephone conversation after the first date which is nice because it shows that you are developing some personal history that only you two share and that is the best way to start a dating regularly and building something that eventually will come to be a relationship and all from a little telephone call.

Here at www.easilyfriends.com we try to make finding a partner as easy as possible and of course ALL of our services are FREE and always will be free but pleased do take care when dating someone new for the first time.

Meet in them in a public place and leave them in a public place. Make sure that you tell someone where you are going and when you expect to return and if you are going to be late then call them and let them know.

Dating is fun and dating safely means that you will have fun safely.

Three Words For Today

Here are three words to think about today when you are looking for Mr., Ms. or Mrs. right.

JUST BE PATIENT!

If you use those three rather simple words then you will find happiness. You know a friend of mine spent nearly 20 years looking for the right partner, in the end he found her but it took a while and of course he was patient.

Building A Relationship

It is easy to wrong almost before begin when you are building a relationship and that is usually because of 'personalities.'

Sometimes it is because people carry emotional 'baggage' from one relationship to another and that baggage just gets heavier and heavier and drags you down, other times it is because you decide that this time 'you' are going be a different person and that is something we humans can't do just like leopards we are unable to change our spots.

Other times we begin a relationship with the intention to change our partner, to my way of thinking if you want to change some of the characteristics or behaviour of your partner you may as well cut out the agony that you will both suffer and leave them well alone now.

But if you can leave the baggage behind, not be so arrogant to believe that you can 'change' someone then you have a real chance of building a relationship.

By far and away the best way to build a relationship is to take things at a pace that you are both happy with, always remember that a relationship contains two people and although you may want to move in together tomorrow your partner may have reservations and want time to adjust to his or her new situation.

Gardeners and builders know about getting the foundations right, if you want to grow wonderful flowers you prepare your soil well and if you want to build a house that will last for centuries you get the footing right and the same is true of building a relationship. The happier, more trusting and comfortable both of you are with each other the more solid the foundation for your future.

There are a lot of things to sort out before you move in together of course but you both need to sit down and work out what it is you want and then go for it.

Always remember that if you have a happy relationship you are one of the lucky few, not every couple can without thinking or referring to each other say that they are happy. But it you work at it you will always be building upon the firm foundations that you created originally and that means that when asked if you are happy together you will both say yes without even having to pause for a moment and that is wonderful.

Beginning A Relationship

Have you ever wondered at what point a friendship becomes a relationship? Yes there is sex of course but sex is not exclusive to relationships these days and so it has to be something else doesn't it?

So when do we go from being friends to being partners? It is something that I have thought of a lot and I think I have some suggestions to the answer but because I know that we are all human and therefore we are all so very different I wouldn't begin to boast that I have 'the' answer!

Personally I think that the first in a long list of answers to the question "when is it that a relationship begins between two people?" Is that time when you go from being always excited by the person you are dating, when things start to feel comfortable.

It is when things start to feel comfortable that you both can relax and begin to enjoy each other on another level and that level is a relationship.

This is the stage in your relationship when you truly understand your partner and can enjoy the feeling that they understand you and that in turn will make you both relax and the more relaxed you are with someone the more open you are and therefore the more you will trust that person on all levels.

It is at this point that you will discover that you are spending more and more of your spare time together doing things that you both enjoy and surely that is a relationship isn't it?

It is my hope that you find someone to share your life with and that is why I work with those nice people at www.easilyfriends.com they really help and best of all their service is totally free, even the advice that I give confidentially one to one and that has helped so many people in so many ways I am pleased to say.

Finding A Partner In 6 Easy Steps

Everyone who is on their own deserves to find a special friend or partner and most importantly find happiness!

Sadly today it is increasingly difficult to find that special someone who might be a good friend or, you never know, may end up as your partner for life.

I have put together 6 steps that will help you to find someone special to share your life with. The 6 steps aren't simple but they are easy to follow and they will help you find someone special but be warned the 6 steps mean that you need to really take a good look at yourself before you start to take a good look for a partner if you do then you will find the person who is right for you and they will delight in your company and that you have to agree is a great beginning.

The First Step

Probably the most important step in finding a special someone is the first one and that step is to really get to know yourself properly!

Yes it is a little obvious! But how on earth can you hope for someone else to get to know you when you have no idea who you are and the type of person you are looking to be friends with or more? So you need to know where you are in your life and what sort of person and relationship you are looking for.

Step Two

It is very important to sit down and think about the sort of relationship you want and the type of person you are looking for. Are at a stage in your life when you are looking for just friends, or do you want a long term relationship and marriage.

The sort of person who is just friends is very different to one who wants to settle down, get married etc., and of course it is important to know what you want because then you can look in the right place and save any heartache that might come with finding the wrong partner for you at the moment.

Step Three

You have to think about the past and ask yourself if you have ever tried to find happiness with the partner or partners you have had in the past or have you just used your former partners as objects of criticism, because it is likely that what you have at the moment maybe wonderful but you can't see it through your attitude!

If this is the case maybe you should give the person you are with a second chance and try to see the good in your partner and do what you can to make life a better happier place and your one time lover loved again.

Even if this doesn't work, there may come a time in the future where the love you find becomes old and stale, even routine, and that is when you might try to improve your relationship by being more loving, kinder and caring, these gifts are usually reciprocated when they are given and life will just get better and better for you and your partner.

Step Four

If you want to see how life can be when you are in a loving relationship look at people who you know who have been together for a long while, they have to be doing something right and it might be that you can spot what they are doing and use it to your advantage.

Step Five

The only way to ensure that the partner that you choose today or tomorrow will be your partner in a long term relationship is to think of your relationship as something that is going to last.

But like all things that last a long time it is going to need TLC and lots of care and attention and if you are prepared to continue to invest in this relationship it will pay dividens in the long term.

When you do this you will find that together you talk about your life together with your partner because you are both investing in the relationship and that means that you will both consider each other's points of view and best of all well being.

The Last Step

It is so very important to ensure that the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with is right for you, never think that you can change or alter the things that you don't like about your partner you can't and most importantly you shouldn't.

Just get to know the person you are friendly with so that dating, living together and spending the rest of your life together feels natural and that way you will both not only be happy but you will be making each other happy.

Horoscope Signs A New Feature

Those nice people at www.easilyfriends.com have just added what I think is a lovely feature - the ability to search for a friend, partner and more by using your Zodiac Sign.

This is a great way to discover that special friend who you can have fun with or... well who knows because you can use the compatibility of your Horoscope Sign to match with theirs.

As always when you are searching for a partner of friend you will be safer using www.easilyfriends.com than if you were to use most dating sites and that is because we carefully monitor applications to join the site which happily reduces access to the site for spammers and scammers and most importantly because we are free and will never charge you for any service ever we care about successfully finding you friends and possibly partners and we are not just after you money like pay sites.

Just A Quick Note!

Hello everyone, I thought I would just drop you all a line and first thank you for the number of nice things that you have said about my blog, and when it is still in its infancy too! You are so kind.

If you think that it is likely that you might be alone this Christmas now is the time to do something about it and probably the best way is to do another search of the www.easilyfriends.com database, but there are other ways.

One really great way to attract the attention of someone you like on a bus, train or in public is to smile at them, it breaks the ice and before you know where you are you could be chatting and getting to know the person who only a few minutes ago you were just smiling at.

So I want you to do something for me today and for the next few weeks, check the www.easilyfriends.com database of course, but also smile at more people and I am sure that together we can do something which will save you from being alone this Christmas.

This Is Fun!

Hello again! Have you noticed I have become quite addicted to blogging, I do hope that it lasts because it is really great to talk.

One thing that I didn't expect was that just writing a few tips about dating here has meant that more people are coming to my lovely free dating website www.easilyfriends.com.

You can call me old fashioned if you want to, but you know, for me it is such a pleasure to help people find each other and make friends and when they find love it is just wonderful.

If you haven't been to www.easilyfriends.com do drop by sometime. It is one of the very few websites that can honestly and truthfully boast that it is free and always well be free.

The only pre-requisite we have here is that you must sincerely want to find friends and of course love if you can.

Still Getting Used To The Fun Of Blogging

Hello my dear friends I am still getting used to the idea of blogging and so far I have to say I love it. I do wish that I had a few more comments by people assure me that they will come in due course and so I have to be patient.

People have asked me to put a picture up here and so I am sorting through them at the moment as you can imagine I want to look my very best for you all. Actually that is a very important point when you use www.easilyfriends.com my always free dating website do please put at least one picture of your good self on the page, that way you will, I promise, get so many more people contacting you and do remember that you will never ever be charged for anything at www.easilyfriends.com.

In the meantime I would like to thank everyone who has written to me at www.easilyfriends.com my nice little free dating site for all of the kind words that they have written about my first few stumbling steps in the blogsphere.

Have a lovely weekend,

Abigail.

Don't Want To Be Alone For The Holidays?

Every year too many people are alone for the holidays and that is heartbreaking as far as I am concerned and that doesn’t make me a silly old softie, it makes me determined to ensure that it doesn’t happen to anyone if I can help it and that is because I have been there, long before I found my happiness I was alone for the holidays a lot and when I found my happiness I decided that I was going to try my hardest to make sure that others are not alone.

The best way I can suggest not to be alone on the holidays is to use one of our excellent free services here at www.easilyfriends.com and the one I am thinking of is the Ice Breakers™ as we call it. Ice Breakers™ make writing messages even easier and that is because there are lots of little introductory sentences to get you started chatting to a new friend.

Using Ice Breakers™ is also quick and easy and means that if you want to send a message to a few of our friends here who don’t forget are as shy as you are then you can quickly, simply and easily that is what www.easilyfriends.com is all about finding friends, companions and most of all happiness quickly, simply and easily so if you are looking for a friend to share the holidays with then do start with a few Ice Breakers™ messages now.

Why After A Couple Of Dates Do Things Go Wrong?

I have heard from a lot of my friends here at www.easilyfriends.com recently saying that they have started dating and then after a couple of nice dates things have started to go wrong and could I help them find out what it was that caused their new friend to not want to continue.

Well after a few questions I found out that the people concerned men and women I have to say, were being a little over eager, it is a common cause of break ups early on in new relationships and is usually caused by one or both of the parties being so happy that they have found someone to share their time with that they just get a little carried away.

My advice, and of course, it works, is to do two things, the first is talk to each other, and not only about the possibility that you might be so happy that you have a new friend that you might put them off a little and you definitely don't want that so if the other person could just say if they were feeling a little threatened then that would help both of them, but also about everything.

And the second thing to do is maybe to implement a system that allows you both to get to know each other at a pace that is good for your both, this might be to restrict dates to certain days of the week and to limit contact initially so that you can allow your normal life to absorb your new friend and potential partner.

The best thing you can do with a new friend is to talk and remember that a conversation is something that is done by two people, who talk and listen to each other so don't get carried away and just talk about you and your problems listen and also talk about normal things, your things you like doing, food you enjoy, sports you like to watch and you will find that you get to know the person you are seeing much faster and much better.

And in the long run that will help you both because the best relationships are based on sharing everything.

Remember if you need one to one counselling, answers to personal problems or just a little coaching just log onto your account at www.easilyfriends.com and write to me at EmailAbigail©, I always reply, but it may take a while because I like to personally help everyone who writes to me at EmailAbigail© and that takes a while I am afraid because there is sadly only one Abigail.

As you all know EmailAbigail© is a confidential advice line for sensible tips and advice on all aspects of meeting new people. When you need help just email Abigail, she is always there to help you! EasilyFriends is the only site of its kind to offer a comprehensive advice line service absolutely free.